The Relationship Between Therapist and Client

Carl Roger describes the relationship between therapist and client:

“If I can create a relationship characterized on my part:
By a genuineness and transparency, in which I am my real feelings;
By a warm acceptance of and prizing of the other person as a separate individual;
By a sensitive ability to see his world and himself as he sees them;

Then the other individual in the relationship:
Will experience and understand aspects of himself which previously he has repressed;
Will find himself becoming better integrated, more able to function effectively;
Will become more similar to the person he would like to be;
Will be more self-directing and self-confident;
Will become more of a person, more unique and self-expressive;
Will be more understanding, more accepting of others;
Will be able to cope with the problems of life more adequately and more comfortably”

The therapeutic relationship between therapist and client is key to healing, transformation and change.  On my journey from student to therapist I was in individual weekly therapy for 4 years and group therapy once a month for 3 years - group lasted for 7 hours on each occasion!!

We have all experienced trauma or have been wounded in some way at one point or another in our lives. Our psyche then kindly employs defense mechanisms to protect us from potential overwhelm happening again. So even when the perceived threat is gone our unconscious still employs these protectors - this is when they can cause us issues in our relationships with each other and the world around us.

I often get asked how do I know if I am seeing the right therapist?  All too often people say they have tried therapy but it wasn’t for them. I believe therapy is for everyone but you need to find your match. Over my years in therapy I have experienced the good and the not so good.  You know you are the right fit with someone if you feel heard, if you feel seen and if you feel validated.

This is the basis upon which I engage with every person that gives me the privilege of working with them. This is human connection.  It may appear simplistic but it is deeply healing and empowering.

Are you ready for therapy?!

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